As soon as I felt it get better, and I pushed myself out of the dark I voluntarily jump back in with no hesitation.
The pride I had for myself for doing what I never thought I could, broken in moments, and here I am again, in a pool of self hatred, that I fear I have pulled those around me into…again.
Every time I tell myself to detach from them, so when I’m feeling low, they aren’t hurt; and every time I fail.
I suppose some people are supposed to feel alone, even after they felt so whole just moments before.
It’s heart wrenching and soul destroying, it’s reality, a truth that will forever pain me.
I am not okay.